Why does the moon make my belly cramp?

Seriously, the pain, moodiness, and general lack of energy when having a period is completely unneeded, thank you very much.  i feel like a big ball of ugh…

Today i got to use Skype to talk to one of my 2 best female friends, and i’m SO glad to finally be starting to use this thing!  i got to see her daughter, with my own two eyes, who i haven’t seen in ages…it was great!  Almost like being in the same room.  i REALLY have to find out which of my other friends has this and start using it with them too…i could even see some friends from far-flung spots around the globe!  Yep..happy about that idea.  🙂

i’ve worked myself half silly.  The plants are inside and everybody’s re-potted for the year.  The kitchen is officially WAY better than it was, and actually halfway to where i want it to be.  And i’ve made one more kitty tail in faux fur, and one full crocheted winter kitty hat and gloves set in mottled grays.  And i’m halfway through a crocheted set of kitty hat, mittens, and scarf, in tones of uber-soft black and white.  i LIKE them too!

But the period-blues are making me freaking MENTAL.  Despite the reassurances of my kitten-friend on Skype, i am still plagued by the irritating fear that my stuff is crap and no one will ever want/buy it, and i am wasting my yarn, effort, and time.  Grrr at myself.  Moody, moody, MOODY!  i just keep getting all bound up and freaked out about it.  i think some days i simply don’t have any faith in myself….despite the fact that my stuff sold handily the last time i was selling similar items…(not kitty-stuff, but still hats and scarves and such) and i hope i get better about that.

But the only remedy is probably time and experience.  If people end up buying my stuff happily and keep that up, (once i get the stuff up to sell) then i bet i’ll stop feeling so down on my own products.

Also, not being period girl will be likely to help my outlook too.  🙂

OK…back to crocheting and then bed.

*Kat*

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Storing nuts for the winter

So today i seem to have begun “perioding” a bit early…and i’m a little surly on account of that.  But so far, it’s OK.  🙂

This afternoon, while hubby works,  i’m trying to get as much of our internal kitchen affairs in order as i can…or maybe i should say pantry?  At any rate, last night i started the Great Kitchen Clean Out, and while it may take days to complete, (or weeks, depending on how often i get interrupted) it has inspired me to take grocery day (today) seriously.  We have virtually no emergency food storage of any kind going on in that pantry, and i intend to remedy that in steps each time we make a grocery trip.  There is a shelf i can allot for it, that would be perfect.  Even though i tend to dislike and fear canned goods, i need to get past that fear and be practical.  In terms of inexpensive emergency food, that stores well for long periods, and can even be cooked in a pot over a fire in our fireplace if we lose electricity, (electricity went out several times last year) canned goods is just the way to go.   So along with the long list of other important grocery stuff, i’ve listed a chunk of canned things…not too much, but enough to be a good start…i just hope hubby will actually BUY the things on the list.  Too often, he tells me to make a list, i spend an hour or so checking and double checking what we need and thinking of how we eat and what we need for the house as well, (like cat litter, light bulbs, toilet paper, etc.) and then he takes the list off to the store and roundly ignores half of what i put on it!

If he would just ONCE get everything on the list i write, we would be in so much better shape in general around here, and he wouldn’t have to keep going back to the grocery for little things all week.  Ugh.  i WISH he got that idea.  Humph.

But who knows, maybe he will this time.  That would be awesome!  And i sure would feel better knowing we had some nuts stored away in our pantry for the winter.  🙂

Also today, i need to try and get the potted green pepper plant and the everbearing strawberry plant moved inside under the plant lights.  i don’t know if i can prolong their bearing or their lives, but it’s worth a try, and the weather is definitely now in the “too cold for happy plants” stage.  My poor tomato plants are trying so hard out there on out balcony, but the leaves are looking more and more yellowed and pathetic.  i’m sad to think of all the still green baby tomatoes that may never get to ripen.  *sigh*  i’ll probably pick and bring in the biggest ones anyway, and hope they manage to ripen inside the house.  We really NEED to plant our pots earlier next year.

OK, off i go, before period time makes it impossible to do.  😉

*Kat*

Of Paws and Progress…

Well, i finally got my first full set of kitty gear  made for the upcoming Katnip Kitty store!  Ears, tail, belt, and even paw-mitts!  It’s a pink and white set with tiny girly-skulls, and i’m generally really happy with it.  (the cute abounds!)  And today i started a  “dandy-lion”  set, and the lion-esque tail is adorable so far…i’m really pleased with the fur-tasseled end to the tail, but the curve i gave it is not quite where i want it yet.  i’m getting there though!  There are already collars and leashes made to sell in the Katnip store, and i’m working on several varieties of human-size toys to sell for use in kitty-play also…but i’m waiting to open the store until i’ve got enough stock made that i feel comfortable.  MUST have ears and tails for a KITTY store…seriously!  🙂

My bath and body stuff, etc., is going in a separate store, so that i can keep a “public” business going while still having the nice luxury of keeping my kitty products more anonymous.  i have to admit that while i want to throw caution to the wind and shout my kitty-dom to the rooftops, it might be too big a step for me right now.  So i’m compromising with myself, and having one store public and one store not-so-public.  We’ll see how that goes.

Needless to say, this blog is public…but ANONYMOUS.  So if i have given you the link to this site and you know my personal name or other aliases…please don’t use them here.  Here, i am Kat, or Katnip, or even kitty…but nothing else.  OK?  🙂

OK, now i have stuff to do.  (hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work i go…)

*Kat*

I DID IT! :)

My avatar works!  My avatar works!  And i figured it out myself..finally!  YAY!

….now…i am going to freaking bed.

*Kat*

More progress on my own than expected!

Well, there are some definite kinks in the works, (like i can’t get my Gravatar/avatar to show up correctly in my blog yet) but i’m shocked and thrilled at the progress i’m making all on my own.  Despite asking, hubby just isn’t willing to help much, and i refuse to sit around and wait like i’ve done for so long.  Which…surprisingly..turns out to be a GOOD thing!  i’m not as dumb as i thought i was!  And while it is still taking lots of reading, effort, and trial and error, i AM doing it!  i have a working blog, links, and even a charity that i want to encourage people to support!  There’s still so much for me to learn, but i’m really happy that i’ve found a flexible and user-friendly place here to have my virtual home at.  i even sent my first-ever support-desk request tonight.  🙂  i’m doing it!  And soon i will have a site up that i’ll be proud to link my kitty-store to.  YAY!

*Kat*

So frustrated…

Here i am, working on my own blog, trying to figure out the details, and i have no idea what i’m doing!  i know what i want to change and customize, and how, but i simply don’t have the knowledge or experience to do it alone.  And there’s no way i can spend extra cash to purchase the “right” to make my customizations work properly.  My husband is a huge computer geek, who makes his living doing this kind of stuff, and he just doesn’t seem to have much interest in being even marginally helpful.  Granted, we’re both grouchy and trying to get over a stomach bug, but it’s amazing to me how much time he can spend on his OWN computer when he feels bad,  yet how impossible it is to get him to spend some time on MINE.  HELP me already!  Grrrr!

And last night i got swarmed by more mosquitoes at once than i’ve ever seen…it happened so fast it was scary..and i now have over ten bites…all of which were received in a matter of seconds!  i got inside quick, but could not figure out how or where those things came from.  i was COVERED, and they were HUGE!  (so now, of course, i’m worried about getting west nile virus..joy of all joys..NOT)  And today, while talking to the hubby, i find out that we have an infestation because he never used the anti-mosquito pellets for the plant water reservoirs !  i bought them…he swore up and down they were a good idea and he’d be happy to put them out for me…and later even told me that he DID…and now, he admits he never bothered, and i’m eaten up and facing danger because of his laziness.

Not happy with the husband right now.

My two web-shops are in process, and since i’m doing them myself, they are moving more slowly than i would like…and it’s frustrating.  BUT, they are still moving much faster than i had FEARED, and real progress is actually being made, which is more than ever happened when i trusted my husband to work on it, so i’m happy with the progress on that level.  Even if it’s slow, it’s still happening.  🙂

Currently, i’m trying to figure out whether or not to link just the one store to this blog, or both, and if i want it to be a two-way link or not, and what i want to allow myself to talk about here.

How honest do i want to be?

Who do i want to tell where i am now?  Who do i want to follow this blog, knowing who i really am?

In all truthfulness, i’m sick and tired of keeping my mouth shut..of hiding and half-hiding things..and of trying to remember who i can say what in front of and who would freak out if i did.   i’m tired of letting my husbands preferences and fears run my life, (i have enough of my own to deal with, thank you)  and i’m worn out with worrying about “what other people will think…or do” if i just let it all hang out.

i’m tired, and i want my life back.

For so long, i tried being open and honest to a fault.  i didn’t really hide who i was or what i was in to..what i enjoyed or believed.  i lived the quote “Speak your mind even if your voice shakes!”….and it eventually got me into so much heart ache and trouble, through the actions and reactions of others, that i just gave up.

i hid.

Crawled under my lower-middle-class rock, and hid.

Now, i’m feeling like i don’t want to do that anymore.  i just want to be who i am, and be excited when i’m excited, and angry when i’m angry, and just let it all go…let it all hang out.

i want to tell the truth.

And i want to be able to do it out here, in the open, where there’s at least a feeling of freedom and vastness and maybe a little risk.  If i can learn to be open here in the virtual world, then maybe i’ll get back to being open in the real world too.

That’s the goal, anyway.

And if people find out what’s lurking in my closet…my marriage problems, my sexuality, my kinkiness, my religious and philosophical preferences….and they reject me…they stop loving me..they ridicule or turn their backs on me.  Well…maybe i just have to live with that.

And maybe it’s their loss.

The entire past year has shown me that life is too short to waste cowering in fear of the judgment of others.  And, frankly, i think i trust God’s goodness too much to waste it in fear of that judgment either.  Ultimately, i think God/dess is probably a lot more understanding, and a lot less condescending, than the garden variety human.

So, i’m thinking all these things, and i’m wonder how far i want to take it…and i’m fighting of the stomach-yuck…and i’m working on my stores.  *sigh*

Why are things not more clear to me today?

Now..i’m going to feed my dog.  🙂

Kat

First day blog…

This is my first attempt at creating a blog on my own, at a site that is totally public.  I’m confused by the options and how to change and customize things, but the process is fun.  Learning new things is a passion of mine…and one I’m getting back into the swing of indulging.  🙂

And i found a pink template.

Pink is good right now.

Go PINK!

So, now it’s off to bed because I’m up way too late playing with this new blogger idea.  Sleep is calling.

I will dream of ice-cream, chocolate, and mice.  🙂

*Kat*