Holy Shit…too much tension!

The anti-hubby came back from vacation today, and everything just went downhill from there.  We fought almost from the moment he came home, (which sucks, because i was actually trying to be nice to him) and then i had a conflict with a best friend, (which turned out fine..it was just stressful for us both) and then as soon as she left, the ex and i ended up fighting again!  For the LOVE OF PETE!!!  i did NOT need him to go all paranoid and ass-holey today.

Food has not been much of an option today, and i feel like a rung out rag.

Thankfully, my friend and i might not be great at arguing, but we DO make up, and we don’t treat each other like dirt when we’re pissed.  But damn…the ex can make me feel like the biggest bitch there ever was, in 3 seconds flat.  He leaves me feeling like such a horrible person.  It’s awful.  i literally collapsed in the floor crying before he “got it” that i just could not take anymore of his anger and finally stopped himself and looked at me like i was a person, and not dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

Then he hugged me and apologized and went for a walk to calm down.  i got in bed to try and get a grip on myself, and he came back and told me a story from a movie he watched while he was with his family.  It helped.  i can breathe now.  And now he’s asleep in his own bed, and i’m stuck awake with a sick tummy.  But at least i’m not hysterical anymore.

i just can NOT take living with that man.

i would like, respect, tranquility, and love in any future relationships, please.  Kink and BDSM too…sure, but the loving kind please…not the ass-hole-kind.

i hope tomorrow is better.

 

*katnip*