Kill all the lawyers?

i’m beginning to understand why so many people say all lawyers should be strangled.

i am knee-deep in shit i don’t understand, and i’m running around like a chicken with my head cut-off, trying to get all my stupid ducks in a row in time for the last court date this month.  But my lawyer is being a real, super-duper ASS all the sudden, is not communicating anything important with or to me about what i’m supposed to be agreeing to, and today he fucking BAWLED ME OUT for calling and trying to talk to him!

i won’t even get into the shit the disability lawyers seem to be trying to pull on me.

i feel very much at the mercy of a system i don’t understand, and men i can’t seem to actually trust.

And the anti-hubby appears about to get away with most of the shit he’s pulled, and even get the settlement he wanted…and i hardly seem to get a vote at all.

i’m praying this all works out for the best, (for me) and i’m driving everyone crazy with questions about the details and the paperwork, in an attempt to not find myself stuck agreeing to something i DON’T agree to.  But damn, i can’t get over the very obvious feeling that i am being screwed.

i am losing weight again, damn it…this is too much stress.

i made it to the dentist today, though, and got a lot of work done, and worked out some good-faith payments plans with the dentist himself.  i may not be screwed on that front, at least.   Go me.


i want to crawl under a rock, i am so tired….or maybe just smash things…i need rest and a serious outlet.  i was so angry and scared after my lawyer bawled me out, i shook for hours tonight.

i will NOT feel guilty for being proactive and concerned about my own case.  i will force myself to be as calm and harmless as i can around him, but i WILL get some answers and get my needs heard on this case, or i will stand up in court at the last hearing and throw a wrench in everything by simply saying i don’t agree with what my lawyer has laid out.

i will be nice, i will be nice, i will be nice.  (repeat it enough; i might manage i)  i will look innocent and stupid if i have to, but i will do all i can to get the terms i can live with.

But LORD, i really, REALLY need some rest and some piece of mind.  i can’t take anymore of this uber-high stress level.

*lays head on paws*

i wish this was easier,



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